Sunday, January 11, 2009

I can’t seem to write…nowadays
Perhaps I’m not strange enough to write well
But I am strange, in fact stranger – a stranger unto myself?
I play with words
I stand musing, shutting myself on the inside of a glass window
Leaving the curtains open
I’m fearful of shutting the light out
I play with my hot breath on the cool wintry glass
Blowing up the blob of vapour
Making hazy flowers of those blobs
Spreading and disappearing
A blinking orgy of vaporous lights
I have a race against time
I have to make more flowers and bigger ones
Before the others vanish
“Come on” says a voice somewhere, “faster, bigger, faster!”
He asked me a couple of days back
“Why do you write?”
“Hmm” I said
And doled out
Some seemingly sensible reasons
Release? I like the craft involved in writing…
“Stuff like that” I said dismissively
I’m still blowing on the panes
Carelessly watching the grey beams of construction
In the next building
So many workers, all brown and grey,
Scattered.
Their whites and blacks all evenly browned
Like well baked clay
Sure footed they appear,
Knowing what to do
I don’t even seem to know what to write…
Hey! What! Why is one of them looking at me?
I hate being spied on when I’m spying
I leave the window and some vapour of hot musings on the cold glass
And walk away
Ready to write
About being unable to write

12 comments:

sandeip said...

maybe there ARE no suitable reasons...

Arfi said...

Have you tried: getting up early, showering, dressing, taking a taxi - around and back- to your house, and then sitting down at your desk to write ? I haven't. Have you ? :)

But then what you've done works too!

The Illusionist said...

yes sandeip, maybe...

Arfi: I have never tried that. But im so sure i wouldn't write after that, i'd be so happily distracted :)

Kumail said...

But I've just read a post by you. Maybe my plebian mind can't understand it. If you can't write, how did I read it? And such a lovely post too. Worth the wait. Naaah ! You CAN write. Q.E.D.

The Illusionist said...

aah kumail: look at you mathematically taking apart all the abstractness that has been so callously piled here!

tou said...

you are strangely familiar. it frightens me so.

tou said...

sorry, the work is awesome though : )

The Illusionist said...

i was given to believe that familiarity merely bred contempt... this is the first time it seems to breed fear... glad you liked it :)

Siyaah said...

Sometimes the best writing comes out just after the time when one can't seem to write for a while...I think that's what happened here...you've captured a universal state really well, with some peculiarities...liked the contrast with the workers 'knowing what to do'...

The Illusionist said...

Siyaah: I guess sometimes just ranting too does the trick :)

Kumail said...

Miss your rantings. In G W's words,"bring 'em on !"

lost said...

May be, the point is to keep writing.